Hiatus Maybe?

I’m moving next month.

Moving is stressful. I’m sure lots of quilters quilt more when they are stressed because it relaxes them. I find I spend all my spare time reading a bunch of books on a single topic (currently running) and watching some series on YouTube (currently Critical Role).

I didn’t sew at all in May. I didn’t even hem the pair of pants I bought that are 5 inches too long because that sounded like work.

I think I may start packing up all my quilting gear now since it’s going to take a while. Which means there’s going to be a break in posts here again.

Unless I suddenly start hand sewing again or something… but that’s unlikely.

Anyway, I’m sure by time I move and get settled, I’ll be chomping at the bit to quilt again, so there will be a flurry of posts then.

Until then, I leave you with the video of song I recently heard and fell in love with.  It’s super relatable for me – both emotionally and how consistent I am with quilting.

‘grey’ by Orla Gartland

TableTop Season 4 Quilt – Episode 4: Tiny Epic Galaxies

Episode 4 of TableTop Season 4 featured Tiny Epic Galaxies, an area control and dice rolling game designed by Scott Almes. Guests included Mayim Bialik, Tim Schafer, and Andy Weir.

I’m going to be super honest and admit that even after watching this episode a half dozen times, I still don’t completely understand the game. I’d probably catch on if I was actually playing, but I don’t have any strong desire to ever play it.

But hey, not everyone loves every game they stumble upon, so no big, right? The episode was still entertaining. I loved / related to Mayim not being able to not straighten the cards. “I tried really hard to be like I don’t care, but I do.”

I decided to create the spaceship token used in the game for the block. I even had some space fabric left over from a previous project to use for the background! Woo!

Hey, remember in the Monarch Crown post that I mentioned the block size seemed off? Yea, well it happened again. I just barely squeaked out trimming down the block to finish at 10 inches without losing part of the ship to the seam allowance. This is very good because I didn’t have enough space fabric to redo the block.

After some investigating, I think I discovered the problem. There was a change in resolution between the file in which I designed the block and the file where I laid out the sections of the pattern for printing. If that’s NOT what the problem is, then I got nothing.

Regardless, the block works so I’m running with it.

What block will you see next? Whichever one I sew! Haha.

TableTop Season 4 Quilt – Episode 3: Monarch

Monarch was the game featured in episode 3 of TableTop season 4. (Did I mentioned the blocks are going to come out of order?)

Monarch is a set collecting game designed by Mary Flanagan with art by Kate Adams. It’s a really neat game, especially since all the characters in the game are women. It seems very easy to learn and quick to play.

Brea Grant, Ashley Clements, and Satine Phoenix were the guests for the game. All three have been in previously been guests on TableTop and they are some of my favorite players. (Satine Phoenix is super adorable / fun. “I like clothes!”)

I chose to create the crown for the Monarch block. Points are called crowns in this game. Also, the crown on the cover of the box was visually appealing to me.

When I sewed the block, it seemed like it came out slightly too big. I wasn’t sure why, but it trimmed down to 10 inches without a problem.

I’ll have to look into what happened with the pattern though as I tend to reuse files. It’s possible I’m going to have the same problem with other blocks. I may have accidentally included the seam allowance as part of the block and then added the seam allowance again or something silly.

Anyway, block is done and I don’t have to worry about the pattern too much since it’s just for my silly TableTop quilt.

What block is coming next?

You’ll never know!

Until I post it!

Quilt Idea: TableTop Season 4

It’s another one of those “Who knows where thoughts come from? They just appear!” things. (PS – Happy belated Rex Manning Day.)

I’ve gotten into my head to make a quilt inspired by the current season of TableTop with Wil Wheaton, featured on the Geek and Sundry channel on YouTube.

TableTop makes me happy. And since anxiety is still being an asshole, I’m trying to focus on happy things. I don’t really watch TV anymore, but there are lots of web series / YouTubers that I like. TableTop is in my top 3.

The quilt will be made up of whatever I feel like making when the episode is over. That will most likely either be game art or items. Or maybe I’ll just make something totally wacky that amuses me BECAUSE I CAN.

There are already about 8 episodes out, so I’ll be playing catchup a bit. Also, the blocks will probably be coming out of order, due to sewing issues (so many sewing issues already) or not being sure what I want to make to represent an episode or whatevs. You’re definitely not going to see the Episode 1 block first.

I have absolutely no idea what I’ll do with this quilt when it’s complete, but I’ll figure that out later.

Stay tuned because a block is coming soon!!

Finish: Vulgarity and Lace (Accent Pillow)

Long story short: The background grey fabric I started using isn’t being carried by my local quilt shop anymore, so I got something else, and turned the half block I had already sewn into this pillow.

I think it’s cute. Also, I am happy that I designed my Fuck Off block in such a way that if someone wanted to just have a block reading “Fuck” instead of “Fuck Off,” it totally works. It’s like two patterns in one! One of these days I’ll start a pattern shop.

Anyway, this is what I accomplished today. (Well, I designed two more patterns this weekend too, but I didn’t test sew yet.)

Little pillow measures approximately 6.5 x 11.

I have the classiest, most elegant home furnishings around and I know you’re jealous.

Finish: An April Mini


I hoped to start an April mini today, and I powered through and finished an April mini today. My quilt stand won’t be naked next month – hooray!

The pattern is called “Spring Fling Mini 2015” and it’s by JmzB Quilts. You can get it for free at Craftsy by clicking here.

It didn’t take long to put together at all. I even got a little creative with the quilting! Instead of doing my standard straight lines, I added little raindrops. Admittedly, halfway through quilting, I started thinking they looked like little nooses and not rain, but whatever. It’s still cute.

It’s approximately 11.75 x 13.5. I’m pretty sure that will still fit on my quilt stand. The stand is in my office at work, so I’ll find out tomorrow.

That’s my first finish of 2017.

Where I’ve Been

I haven’t posted since November. I wish I could say I was doing really amazing stuff, like touring the globe or something, but the truth is I have really just been sitting in front of my computer, watching a lot of YouTube.

Which is to say, I haven’t been sewing.

Further, I’ve been straight up avoiding the Lair because my anxiety about being in there was so bad, I felt like I was suffocating.

Let me back up… Last summer my anxiety, which is usually just a constant (but sorta ignore-able) whisper that no one really likes me and I’ll die alone, starting getting really bad.

I continued to ignore it. Honestly, I didn’t really know what else to do. I assumed the things I was stressed about would eventually resolve, and everything would go back to how it was.

Except nothing really resolved and my anxiety just kept getting worse.

At the end of September, I broke. I didn’t go to work, because I was terrified to leave my house. I also missed out seeing some family that I hadn’t seen in forever for the same reason.

I managed to pull myself back together enough that it was only a week of work missed, which was good because I really can’t afford to lose one week’s pay. More lost pay was out of the question.

Despite it all, I was still trying, however unsuccessfully, to act like everything was fine. I was trying to sew and upload happy blog posts.  I was putting so much pressure on myself to keep trying to do it all.

But things weren’t fine… at all… and I felt like there was a giant neon clock over my head counting down to the next break.

I think somewhere along the way my brain realized there were things I really couldn’t avoid doing if I wanted to not fuck up my life to a point where I couldn’t fix it. I needed to go to work. I needed to pay attention to how politicians were trying to completely fuck up the country. I needed to be a responsible adult, a contributing member of society.

But I didn’t need to make things for charity. I didn’t need to seek out new commissions for quilts. I didn’t need to design patterns and set up a shop. I didn’t need to sew at all.

And in a last ditch, self-protective effort, Brain said “Fuck sewing” and transferred 65% of my anxiety to the Lair. The remaining 35% for the rest of my life was still more than it’s been in the past, but I could still live function.

But anxiety is a fairy tale monster that sees your puny attempts to defeat it, regroups, re-strategizes, and re-attacks. I became almost as anxious about NOT sewing as I do about sewing.

Fuck you, Anxiety.

Seriously. You’re a dick.

I’ve made some changes my life since November – changed brands on my thyroid meds, drastically changed my diet in an effort to handle things better, etc. I got a tattoo on my wrist as a constant reminder to take care of myself, because anxiety (and depression) certainly don’t have my best interest at heart.

And now… it’s time to face whatever monster is lurking in the Lair.

I went in there yesterday.

I couldn’t breathe.

I cried. A lot.

If you looked at me, you might have thought I was preparing to jump out of a plane, not sit on my butt in front of a sewing machine.

But I did it. I finished quilting something I started when I was still trying to pretend everything was fine. And I made a set of placemats for mom that are Spring colors.

And I’m going back in there today. I hope to make an April mini for the mini quilt stand. I found a cute free pattern on Craftsy that I’m going to use.

Going forward… I’m going to try to “show up” at least 3x a week, and I’m going to sew for me. No charity stuff, no designing “patterns that might sell”, no designing things I think would impress people, no commissions…

No fucking pressure – external or, more likely, internal.

For now, I’m going back to how it was – to when I sewed because it was fun.

Maybe someday things will be different but for now, I need this to be 100% hobby and not a “passion” that I could monetize because DO WHAT YOU LOVE AND YOU’LL NEVER WORK A DAY IN YOUR LIFE or any of the other cliches that are constantly thrown around, as if fun work isn’t still fucking stressful work.

I’m going to try to be more honest here too… because maybe I’m not the only one who’s struggling and maybe someone will read this and feel better about letting that charity quilt they were thinking about go for right now.

It’s ok to take care of you. It’s ok to say “things aren’t ok.” It’s ok to lay down and rest sometimes – you’ll get up again when you’re ready.

*Hugs for everyone!*





I’m absolutely terrified that everything is going to fall apart again.